one week from today, a big change will be taking place. i'll be going through a shape-shifting of sorts. i'm having my larger than life "baby feeders" taken down a few notches. that's right, folks, i'm having a breast reduction! when i tell people this, i'll get one of two reactions. the first is "oh, wow! congratulations!" this response is the one i most prefer, but then i wonder. why did they say it with such enthusiasm and excitement? am i that big that i amaze people with my ability to walk upright at all? nevertheless, i say thanks because that's what i want to hear.
the other response is "why?" "why would you change how you are?" why? hello, clueless! have you seen the giant watermelons i've been lugging around for the past 15 years? it's a wonder that i'm able to walk upright at all! there are some unfortunate souls who are much bigger than i, but i'm still not proportioned right at the top of my body frame. i pray for all those gals suffering with sore shoulders and aching backs.
others have asked if i'm nervous about the surgery. if i've had nightmares or weird dreams. not really. i do pass the mirrors in my house, though, and try to squish "the girls" together, visualizing what my body will look like after i'm all nipped, cut and sewn back together. i'm not nervous or scared because i have been well-educated in what's going to happen. thanks to masumi who had this surgery back when we were in college. she was gracious enough to tell me what would be going down. what to expect, what i would be able to do and not do. she's been very tolerant of my going back and forth through the years with the decision to have it done. thanks, gal, you're a wealth of knowledge and a great friend!
there have been a host of other friends who've had the surgery and have been great enough to tell me the truth... especially about the pain. "girl, you will be in pain, but that's why they give you those happy pills." then there's my bookmarked list of breast reduction surgery websites. some complete with before and after pictures! i think i'm most at ease because my plastic surgeon is very experience in this type of surgery and his staff has been phenomenal. he comes highly recommended by friends who have had this done (and other stuff). AND he's board certified and a member in good standing. that's key!
but i'm sitting here thinking. how much will my life and wardrobe change once i make the transition from a G-cup (sorry fellas) to the normal-sized C. here's a short little list:
1. i will have to shop for more bras. seeing as my soon-to-be-too-big bras will no longer fit. perhaps i should make the old ones into a hat or a baby cap for little Freebird. one of my sweet friends sent me a victoria's secret gift card. yum!
2. i'll be able to shop in the victoria's secret store. now while they have added larger cups to their line, the biggest i've seen is a D-cup. ha! my robust boobies laugh at their feeble attempts to "cater to the more than plentiful up top."
3. i will be able to spend less than $30 for at least two bras vs. the $40+ i spend on one that's strong enough to hold the boulders. i don't have to go to a specialty shop to get industrial-strength support! more bras for me!
4. i won't have to pin my shirts closed to hide the emabarrassing boobie bulge.
5. i will probably lose about 5lbs, which for any girl that's just awesome. numbers do matter... don't let them tell you otherwise!
6. i can try on a dress and not have to worry if it will zip past where the breasts begin! i'll be able to buy large and mediums shirts!!!
7. i can finally take an aerobics class and not worry about poking my eye out during jumping jacks. but not for atleast six months.
8. guys won't stare at... ah who am i kidding. no matter what size they are, they'll stare as if it's feeding time.
9. my sisters won't be subjected to the mean tiny boobies jokes i inflict on them on a regular basis. ah, who am i kidding. i'll still be bigger than they are. and since i'm the oldest, it's my God-given right to tease.
10. although i don't feel it now, my neck, my back and shoulders will be a much happier crew!
so, it will be a while before i write another entry. after i come out of the drug-induced bliss, i'll be sure to write about a happier, smaller more satisfied me.
be happy. be confident in what you want. be blessed.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
HOW sweet it was
so i am officially back from out of town! i have just come back from one of the most awesome conference for creatives in the world - the HOW design conference in chicago. over 3500 people were there. people just like me, designers who love their macs, love their talents, a chance to get away from the office and fuse with others who share this passion. i got to play with other creatives, get to know my co-worker a little better and catch up with one of the best designers i know - gissy, you're absolutely fabulous! one of the highlights was the closing party where we were to come as we weren't - a mascerade party. we saw killer costumes and chatted with fascinating people - one in particular i hope will continue to be in touch :)
there were some hiccups on the way there. drew, my co-worker was pulled aside by cola airport security 'cause his belt kept making the alarm go off. that was hilarious - especially since this was his first time flying ever! then our flight was delayed due to bad weather. then we missed our connecting flight because of said weather conditions. we were rebooked for a flight that left the NEXT morning. wouldn't have been so bad, except gissy was bunking with me! we got all that straight, though.
if you ever end up missing your connecting flight from dc and have to stay in a nearby hotel, i highly recommend the hyatt regency in reston, va. for the few hours we stayed there, it was absolutely awesome. the service was out of this world and the facilities impeccable. they gave us a little toiletries so we could at least brush our teeth, comb hair and wash the underarms and apply fresh deodorant. btw, we stayed in two separate rooms. don't want anyone to think anything else :)
we all finally arrived in chicago in one piece. i never appreciated a shower so much! we toured the sights, ate deep dish pizza and had a great time. now as with any conference, you're bound have signed up for a stinker session or two. i only had one that was totally crapsville, but overall the conference was fantastic! i won't spend so much time going over this, 'cause if you're not a designer, creative type, or my director who requires a report upon return, you won't appreciate the recap. but my favorite session would be the one entitled "designers who care." the session was led by peleg top, a designer who left the corporate design scene and successfully started a design firm that caters to non-profit and community-based clients.
up until that wonderful sunday morning, i didn't even think that it was possible to do what you're really passionate about AND be able to live off it. i love design. but i really am passionate about helping non-profits, community-based and religion affiliated organizations through my design skills. i've always liked the idea helping these types, but have always run in to problems with small budgets. mr. top revealed how that was possible as he discussed different types of projects that could be taken on in this arena. as he explained certain things, i could see how passionate he was about his firm's work and the pride in the contributions he and his colleagues have made to their surrounding community.
top gave renewed a hope that i almost let go. the hope of being able to just help people and make a decent living from it. and not in an exploitive manner. one of the ways he said we as designers could give back is to teach. i am teaching in the fall at my alma mater. and while i am denying it now, i will admit that i am really excited about this and will probably have a great time teaching and learning from my eight students this fall. i have awesome ideas for them and want to make the class exciting and educational. i also can't wait to share with them the importance of giving back to the community in which we live.
it is my sincere desire to make my little space in this world better. my church has started some life-changing programs and has had a profound impact on the surrounding community. i have so many ideas i would love to implement to help propel these awesome programs, but never enough time to develop a plan to make it happen. i know deep down that i will eventually have to give up some things and totally sacrifice others to make these visions come to pass. i have to make time if i want to live what i truly desire - just to be a helper. the Bible says that your "gifts will make room for you." i truly believe that and it is the gifts God has given me with this passion to help that will help me be successful in this area. i have to make the first move though. i think i'm doing that with this teaching assignment at cc. we'll see where this gift and God will take me from there.
i am becoming more open to change and willing to make those changes. there are some things that i have to continue to stand firm in, but i cannot be so rigid that i miss whatever it is God's mapped out for my destiny. i have encountered the unexpected on this trip and now i'm ready for more. i pray that you are, too.
be open to change. be ready when it happens. be faithful and steadfast in your dreams.
there were some hiccups on the way there. drew, my co-worker was pulled aside by cola airport security 'cause his belt kept making the alarm go off. that was hilarious - especially since this was his first time flying ever! then our flight was delayed due to bad weather. then we missed our connecting flight because of said weather conditions. we were rebooked for a flight that left the NEXT morning. wouldn't have been so bad, except gissy was bunking with me! we got all that straight, though.
if you ever end up missing your connecting flight from dc and have to stay in a nearby hotel, i highly recommend the hyatt regency in reston, va. for the few hours we stayed there, it was absolutely awesome. the service was out of this world and the facilities impeccable. they gave us a little toiletries so we could at least brush our teeth, comb hair and wash the underarms and apply fresh deodorant. btw, we stayed in two separate rooms. don't want anyone to think anything else :)
we all finally arrived in chicago in one piece. i never appreciated a shower so much! we toured the sights, ate deep dish pizza and had a great time. now as with any conference, you're bound have signed up for a stinker session or two. i only had one that was totally crapsville, but overall the conference was fantastic! i won't spend so much time going over this, 'cause if you're not a designer, creative type, or my director who requires a report upon return, you won't appreciate the recap. but my favorite session would be the one entitled "designers who care." the session was led by peleg top, a designer who left the corporate design scene and successfully started a design firm that caters to non-profit and community-based clients.
up until that wonderful sunday morning, i didn't even think that it was possible to do what you're really passionate about AND be able to live off it. i love design. but i really am passionate about helping non-profits, community-based and religion affiliated organizations through my design skills. i've always liked the idea helping these types, but have always run in to problems with small budgets. mr. top revealed how that was possible as he discussed different types of projects that could be taken on in this arena. as he explained certain things, i could see how passionate he was about his firm's work and the pride in the contributions he and his colleagues have made to their surrounding community.
top gave renewed a hope that i almost let go. the hope of being able to just help people and make a decent living from it. and not in an exploitive manner. one of the ways he said we as designers could give back is to teach. i am teaching in the fall at my alma mater. and while i am denying it now, i will admit that i am really excited about this and will probably have a great time teaching and learning from my eight students this fall. i have awesome ideas for them and want to make the class exciting and educational. i also can't wait to share with them the importance of giving back to the community in which we live.
it is my sincere desire to make my little space in this world better. my church has started some life-changing programs and has had a profound impact on the surrounding community. i have so many ideas i would love to implement to help propel these awesome programs, but never enough time to develop a plan to make it happen. i know deep down that i will eventually have to give up some things and totally sacrifice others to make these visions come to pass. i have to make time if i want to live what i truly desire - just to be a helper. the Bible says that your "gifts will make room for you." i truly believe that and it is the gifts God has given me with this passion to help that will help me be successful in this area. i have to make the first move though. i think i'm doing that with this teaching assignment at cc. we'll see where this gift and God will take me from there.
i am becoming more open to change and willing to make those changes. there are some things that i have to continue to stand firm in, but i cannot be so rigid that i miss whatever it is God's mapped out for my destiny. i have encountered the unexpected on this trip and now i'm ready for more. i pray that you are, too.
be open to change. be ready when it happens. be faithful and steadfast in your dreams.
Thursday, June 2, 2005
popcorn and pickles
when we were little, my dad would make us jiffypop popcorn - the kind you swish around on the stove 'til the popping kernels inside would make that aluminum foil rise form a alien-shaped helmet.
daddy would pour the fresh popcorn in a bowl salt 'em up, slice up some kosher dill pickles and we'd all gather in the living room and watch movies. what fun we'd have crunching the corn, sucking the juice from the pickles and talking through the movie du evening. the are seven of us, so what a sight it would be for six little girls, one scrawny little boy and this big tall man squished on a tiny sofa, watching the boob tube. we loved it! it was a time to forget about the homework, the bullies, the chores (with seven kids you know there were alot!) and relax on the couch with daddy. enjoying his security and strange tastes in movies. sometimes we'd watch a horror flick or a disney classic. the strangest movie we watched together was the rocky horror picture show. ha! i remember us dancing with daddy in the living to the "time warp" song. my mother would hang her head in shame as we screamed "let's do the time warp again!" ah, those were the days.
that was over fifteen years ago. we're all just about out of the house now. only my baby brother (my only) and two sisters are home now. we all get together, but there was nothing like those nights. carefree and unware of any real life problems. now there are bills, mortgages, kids, significant others (or lack of), car trouble and other crap that cloud our thoughts and sometimes take away from the gatherings.
i was longing for those days again. so i scheduled popcorn and pickles night. it was just me, daddy, two of my sisters and my darling nephews. we rented movies, ordered pizza and bought pickles - kosher, of course. i even found the old jiffy popcorn that you swish on the burner! my five year old nephew and i swished to our hearts' content! unfortunately, the kernels burned. worked better when daddy did it. we opted for microwave pop instead.
we watched a disney classic, a weird movie and a love story. they were all awesome. we laughed as we talked about how we used to do this when we were little. #2 sister and i have vowed that we do the p & p night as long and as often as we could. while it's not the same, there are new memories to make with the kids and old ones to share with each other. who knows, maybe one of these days all of us will be dancing "time warp" again in the living room. well, maybe not the nephews... that really is a twisted movie.
be nostalgic. be constantly in touch. be blessed.
daddy would pour the fresh popcorn in a bowl salt 'em up, slice up some kosher dill pickles and we'd all gather in the living room and watch movies. what fun we'd have crunching the corn, sucking the juice from the pickles and talking through the movie du evening. the are seven of us, so what a sight it would be for six little girls, one scrawny little boy and this big tall man squished on a tiny sofa, watching the boob tube. we loved it! it was a time to forget about the homework, the bullies, the chores (with seven kids you know there were alot!) and relax on the couch with daddy. enjoying his security and strange tastes in movies. sometimes we'd watch a horror flick or a disney classic. the strangest movie we watched together was the rocky horror picture show. ha! i remember us dancing with daddy in the living to the "time warp" song. my mother would hang her head in shame as we screamed "let's do the time warp again!" ah, those were the days.
that was over fifteen years ago. we're all just about out of the house now. only my baby brother (my only) and two sisters are home now. we all get together, but there was nothing like those nights. carefree and unware of any real life problems. now there are bills, mortgages, kids, significant others (or lack of), car trouble and other crap that cloud our thoughts and sometimes take away from the gatherings.
i was longing for those days again. so i scheduled popcorn and pickles night. it was just me, daddy, two of my sisters and my darling nephews. we rented movies, ordered pizza and bought pickles - kosher, of course. i even found the old jiffy popcorn that you swish on the burner! my five year old nephew and i swished to our hearts' content! unfortunately, the kernels burned. worked better when daddy did it. we opted for microwave pop instead.
we watched a disney classic, a weird movie and a love story. they were all awesome. we laughed as we talked about how we used to do this when we were little. #2 sister and i have vowed that we do the p & p night as long and as often as we could. while it's not the same, there are new memories to make with the kids and old ones to share with each other. who knows, maybe one of these days all of us will be dancing "time warp" again in the living room. well, maybe not the nephews... that really is a twisted movie.
be nostalgic. be constantly in touch. be blessed.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)