tra·di·tion [truh-dish-uhn]
–noun
1. the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, esp. by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.
2. something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.
3. a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: The rebellious students wanted to break with tradition.
4. a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices.
en·gage·ment Pronunciation[en-geyj-muhnt]
–noun
1. the act of engaging or the state of being engaged.
2. an appointment or arrangement: a business engagement.
3. betrothal: They announced their engagement.
4. a pledge; an obligation or agreement: All his time seems to be taken up with social engagements...
traditional engagement: where a man presents a his beloved with a ring, gets down on one knee and proposes. before that, he's asked her father's permission to marry her.
while some of these sentiments are wonderful and not bad in an of themselves, tradition is something that sir and i have pretty much laid aside for the most part.
we didn't meet in a traditional way (like at a local church function or through a mutual friend). we met on eHarmony. we don't really have a "traditional" relationship (living in the same city in which see each other all the time). more than 2,000 miles and a three-hour time difference separates us. and since it's fashionable to have sex before marriage we're probably considered non-traditional in that regard as we've decided to "wait" until marriage to do the "do."
typically people share all the details about their potential significant others right off the bat. we decided to wait almost five months before telling a lot of people. and traditionally it's the guy who says "i love you" first, right? and in person? well, i took the plunge and declared my love and i did over the phone--before we even met in person for the first time. so, it's only fitting that our engagement did not come about in a traditional manner. well sir did speak to my father and asked him and my mother for their blessing , but after he proposed to me.
tradition still has some small role in our relationship. pretty soon, everyone will know about our engagement, when and where our wedding will take place through our special blog. there, a different engagement story will be shared. the one after sir talked to my parents. it will be as lovely as the first, but the original will always be what i remember the most.
i'm posting our REAL story here, because let's face it. even though we've shunned tradition, others have yet to embrace this concept. particularly my father. he would be upset to find out that he had not been approached first by his nervous, brave future son-in-law before proposing. my sister and her now husband didn't follow that tradition and we NEVER heard the end of it. so we'll let tradition take the spotlight. i'm posting the real deal here. so without further delay, i give you.
The Proposal (original)
by Sir
I proposed to Drenie last night (Monday, June 16, 2008) at 8 p.m. It was really wonderful. I planned to ask her to marry me two weeks ago. I wanted to do it as soon as I finished my summer courses. I wanted to surprise Drenie and make it special. To be honest, I was a little nervous. It is not everyday that you propose to your soulmate.
Drenie told me earlier that day that she was feeling a little nervous. Last week, we set a date/time for Monday to talk about us coming together and making solid plans for getting married. The timing was perfect because it was right before our 13th-month anniversary (June 19th). I wanted to propose on a Monday. We have been courting for a little over a year now and I wanted to make it "official."
I decided I would give one of my "famous" speeches. About an hour into our conversation, I said "you are my heart's desire. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. You are the one that I want in my life. I thank the Lord for you. Thank you for being my friend and lover. Thank you for me loving me as I am with my third eye and triangle-shaped head (inside joke LOL). I have one question for you--WILL YOU MARRY ME, BABY?" She said "yes" right away and began to cry and I was just enjoying the moment. I don't know why I feel so calm and cool. I guess it hasn't hit me yet. Shouldn't I be a nervous wreck?! Lol. We still have much to discuss, but I am so happy right now.
by drenie
earlier that day i was feeling unusually nervous about our pending phone conversation. we decided to center the talk around coming together permanently. most of our conversations are about the future as a couple--so there was really no reason to be nervous, but I was.
during our conversation, sel said "i was thinking about how i keep waiting for the perfect time to do things." he talked about how he liked things to be just right and in order. i was wondering WHY he was saying these things. Then I asked myself "is he proposing?" he did have a little quiver in his voice, but i attributed that to him just being tired from the day. then sir went on to say the usual wonderful things he says (see his entry). at that point i figured he was giving one of his famous speeches or soliloquies. he told me how he knew from our very first phone conversation that i was THE ONE. he thanked me for being his friend and loving him for who he is. then he paused... and said "i just have one question, for you. will you marry me, baby?"
i immediately said "yes" and started to cry, to which he replied with an awestruck "wow." i must have cried for at least five minutes or so. then i asked him if i answered him. he laughed and said, "yes, hon. yes, you did." i said "yes, i will. yes!" again to make sure he knew my joyful response. i couldn't believe it. i was totally caught off-guard and by surprise... just the way he intended.
i used to dream up in my head how my future man would propose to me--as did every girl. something elaborate and flashy. tons of flowers and candles, a violin--all the hollywoodesque trimmings. there was no flashy or grand, illustrious show. there was no fanfare. in reality, it was just the two of us alone and enjoying this wonderfully beautiful moment. the ONLY thing that would make this proposal even better would be to hold him in my arms and kiss him. for now, i'm enjoying this delightful moment between us.
be ready for God's awesome surprises. be willing to create your own tradition. be blessed.
