ok. so lately i've been feeling like i don't belong anywhere. not like life sucks and i need to leave it. but more like, things are going ok, but i feel that this life is not meant for me. somehow, somewhere i've missed a turn on the road and i'm just circling trying to figure out how to get back on the right track. no, i'm not depressed. no, things do not suck on the job. everyone is healthy and fine. things are going kind of good. but still something deep inside screams "YOU NEED A MAJOR CHANGE!"
i'm finally finishing my appy to grad school. i've been putting it off for like um eight years. but i didn't want to waste money or time pursuing a higher degree and not really doing anything with it. i'm still not sure if i want to teach full time once i earn the degree, but having a m.f.a. won't hurt either. it could lead me to meeting some really interesting folks and find that niche i'm looking for.
i'm so used to having chaos and extremely busy schedule all the time, i don't know exactly what to do with this extra time i'm finding. i've on purpose brought my freelancing to a very slow crawl. i've taken up an awesome jazzercise class - looking good by the way - and contemplating taking up running. the new boobies are a year old this week!
slow changes, but changes nonetheless. i've cancelled my subscription to the match site. the $$$ can go toward something else. but more importantly, i'm still of the notion that i'll meet the person the old fashioned way and not online. i will admit that i do feel glum every now and again where that's concerned. but, hey! God's timing and not mine, right?
i'm traveling and going out more. hanging out with my pals and fam. i'm slowly changing my style of dress to reflect the sassy way i feel inside. but still i feel like something more dramatic and awesome for me is on the horizon. this can't be all there is to my life!
it could be that i'm virtually homeless that's contributing to this feeling. i've sold the condo and am currently staying with my younger sister while shopping for a new bachelorette pad. so the fact that i don't have any real "roots" at the moment has me feeling "drifty."
so, am i crazy or does anyone else feel this way? am i the only one waiting for the other side of through?
be blessed.
