so. it was bound to happen. out of the six girls my parents brought in this world (one boy at the end), one of us was bound to make that step. the big jump toward marriage. no, no. not me... although it is openly expected that i should be the first. being first born and all. i still hold out hope, though i'm not rushing either.
nope. i announce with pride and a minute dash of envy, that #3 is engaged! of course we all knew it was coming. they've been inseparable since the day they met. she's been through some crappy choices in the past. so it's nice to see her finally be with someone who's mature and take can care of himself without being told. yep. he's a keeper. gave her a nice ring, too. well done, yard man, well done.
what surprises me, though, is how my inner bridezilla is eager to jump out and take charge! while the wedding is not set until near the end of next year, i've already made appointments for #3 to try on dresses. i've downloaded possible invite layouts; saved pictures of possible bride's maids dresses; talked to someone about videography; and put the wedding director and seamstress on stand by.
i have bookmarked possible places for a reception and made notes of potential caterers and party favors. #3's in an intense program to become a licensed dietician while working a full-time job. sometimes she doesn't know whether she's coming or going. i've been in and helped plan numerous wedding celebrations. so some may think that i'm being a very helpful, big sister. and to some degree some planning should be done as far in advance as possible.
but nothing has hit this close to home as an IMMEDIATE family member. MY SISTER'S GETTING MARRIED. there's a teeny tiny little voice in my head that says "girl, this may be as close as it's gonna get for you." i shewed the voice away. i told #3 that she and yard man (he does landscaping work) should sit down together and really talk about what kind of wedding they want. we'll help make it happen from there. so was little voice of "always a bride's maid, never a bride" vanquished with that statement? not at all...
the other day, #3 told me of a song that she wanted to use for her bridal march and i immediately say, "that's just not going to work." "here listen to this song. it's just beautiful. i was thinking of using it someday when i get married." hello? where did that come from? you're not the one who's getting married. this is not your wedding! girl get a grip! that's when i realized that there's a miniscule little bride deep with in the depths of my being trying to emerge as #3 on her wedding day!
oh no! what am i doing? i've got to silence this little demonette before she completely takes over and totally aggravates me, #3 and everyone else in her wedding war path. so is there help for this new found personality? i don't want to become a bridezilla wanna-be, nor do i want to be a bride's maidzilla!
step one is to recognize there is a problem and admit help is needed. i've done that. what's step two? i think it's basically to constantly remind myself that i'm not the bride, i am the help. while my opinion is valued, it is not the final say so. i'm not the one who is donning the white dress and veil. i'm not taking the walk down the aisle, yet. my day will come, but it's not on #3's day. it's all about her and yard man and their expression of love.
don't get so pushy and don't try to plan everything for them the way you think it should be. if you should start to waiver and little bridezilla starts to show. remember THIS IS NOT YOUR DAY! which, by the way is a year and a half from now. ok. i think i'm okay now. i really needed to say that out loud. whew! i think she's gone now.
that reminds me, i need to tell #3 i bookmarked some pages of wedding dresses i think she'd like. uh oh... beating little bridezilla will be more of a challenge than i thought... give me strength :)
be in control. be aware of your inner-bridezilla. be blessed.
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