ok.
it's so difficult for one to admit when one has a problem. an addiction of sorts. usually one will ignore the problem until the problem gets so big that there's absolutely no other alternative but to face the problem head on. well, i am that one tonight. and i have come to the realization that i have a HUGE problem. and i can no longer ignore the problem 'cause it's now affecting me a HUGE way.
what's the problem, you ask? well... how can i put this? i have a spending problem! i didn't really think it was a problem until i checked my "fun" account and noticed the balance was... gulp $0.00!!!!! ZERO, as in, "you have NO money to spend at all and if you write another check or make another online purchase, you're in deep poo!"
sadly, this is the third time within in a 6-month period this has happened. and what i end up doing is transferring $$$ from the fun-savings account to cover whatever purchases that haven't shown up on the account yet. now i know you're saying "big deal" but for someone who used to count EVERY penny, this isn't going to work for me.
normally, i wouldn't worry about it, but the same habit is slowly starting to show up in my main account. luckily, i've never hit a zero balance on this account, but it's been extremely hairy a couple of times. once i had only less than $5 to live on until the next pay check. then what happens? you've guess it. i play with the credit card or dip into my other savings accounts.
what's happening? where is my money going? and who am i spending it with? simply put, i have lost the amount of discipline i've had in the past. i'm making a decent living and there should absolutely be no way in the world i should have to dip into savings more than i do. i see something on sale and i can't let it go. i'm eating out more than i should - as evidence by the five pounds i've gained since thanksgiving.
how did i get this way? well, for starters, i never really disciplined myself to the once-a-month payments i receive from my current employer. i still spend as if there is a check coming in twice a month. as a result, i end up scrapping by until the next check or freelance gig bails me out. sadly, i will be in this situation again next month. yipes!
so what am i to do now? well, i'm declaring now that i will not do this again. i cannot and will not be a paycheck-to-paycheck dweller! i can't afford to! what i simply mean is i will have to be more disciplined in my spending. i will have to create a budget and stick to it. a heard a really smart person say that she gives herself a certain amount of "fun cash" to spend each pay period. if she runs out before the next "allowance," too bad. so should i give myself an allowance? how much do i give?
i've taken my credit card out of my wallet. i've taken away the checkbook and debit card associated with my "fun account," too. if it's the fun account, why are you taking it away, you ask? well, apparently i'm having too much fun with it and now i need $$$ to finish renovations in my home, which is still for sale by the way! if i don't have access to it, i can't spend it. i will have to be on a spending diet for the next month or so - even with the nice raise i'm getting.
why? i'm trying to pay off the card, get rid of a stupid, stupid high interest loan i have and save money, too. i have a nice line-up of freelance work coming in, which will boost the fun account back up and provide some income for the renovation project. the money i make from teaching will be devoted to the payments of the credit card and the new car. prayerfully and with faith, i will be able to stick to this new plan.
now i know you're wondering why i share this with you. well, i don't want those to make the same silly choices i've made when it comes to money. there have been countless opportunities for me to pay off the card and the loan. or at least put a huge dent in the debt-to-income ratio.but because i lacked the discipline, i didn't. and now i'm stuck trying to figure out the minimum payment!
i want to retire in 25 years and not have to worry about how i'm going to live. i want to make my money work for me and not the other way around. i only have 25 years to get this accomplished! i don't want money to be an issue for me and whomever God blesses me to marry. atleast an issue for me. i don't want it to be a problem for you either. if i had it to do all over again, i would never have opened a credit card account. i would have learned how to save more and spend even less!
if you don't have a credit card, DON'T get one. or get one like AMEX where you have to pay the balance off in your next statement. tithe 10% of your increase to God; put 10% in your savings! if you can't pay for it in cash, then you don't need it! if you already have a card, cut it up or put it away. once you get the balance paid down, don't charge it back up unless you plan on paying it off the next month.
now let me clarify something. i am not on the verge of bankruptcy or poverty. i'm just recognizing some bad habits i've let creep in and if i don't get them under control now, i will be no good to anyone - especially myself.
be good. be budget-conscious. be blessed.
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