so recently i decided to "put myself" in the way of my blessing. my destiny. i, after countless battles with myself, put myself on one of those matching sites. this one comes highly recommended by countless people. i've even been to a wedding where the bride and groom's uniting was a result of said site.
i visit, i fill out the free profile. i wait almost a year and a half and some $$$ later to make my site active. now what i like about this site is that they force you to really think about what's important to you. what your "must haves" and "can't stands" are. the profile really gets to the core of you and they take it a step further and tell you (based on your profile) who you would most likely be comfortable/compatible with. and dang it, if they didn't hit the nail on the head about me and what i'd like/tolerate in a partner. sweet.
now what happens is that once you've uploaded all this up close and personal information (and don't forget pre pay), the search is begun immediately. you choose how far and wide to make the search. i'm not one who'd do well with a really long distance thing so my search is at least in my region. i can decide later if it's worth it to travel wherever. but first let's meet. so, the search is on and two days later... NO MATCHES! it's only the first week so i hold out hope.
the next week a match is sent. i read the profile, sounds cool and i initiate contact. and can you believe it? i make the first move. nervous as can be, but he may be just as nervous as i am. we're both in the same situation. a week later... no word. the status says waiting for his answers. i can only come to the conclusion that he either is already communicating with another match or isn't interested in responding to my message. starting to think money, time and nerves wasted...
the next week ANOTHER match! are you meaning to tell me that there is more than one person out there who's as anal and slightly ocd like me? swank! at this point it's been two weeks sent i sent a message to #1, so i put him on hold. and initiate contact with #2. still nervous and at this point a little anxious. i'm starting to wonder if this is even worth doing. but i can't obtain that which i am not willing to go after. so it's now almost a week later and what is the status with #2? you've guess it "waiting for his answer." that's right. that makes two people who have not responded to me. am i inadvertently sending signals of desperation 'cause i initiate the conversation? should i have waited to see if the matches contact me first?
am i hurt? nah. a little disappointed? sure. losing hope? maybe. i have to remember that great love and friendships aren't found and built overnight. rome wasn't built in a day. so i'll not put #2 on hold just yet, but come this weekend, i'll not come to expect any hopeful emails on other matches found. perhaps if they send me a #3, i'll let him initiate the communication process first. i'll let him wait for my answers. ha!
i know i'm standing on the edge of greatness. and i can't shake the feeling that something unusual but good is going to take place. my imagination gets the better of me from time to time, but this premonition is strong. i don't want to say just yet for fear of jinxing whatever it is. i feel like i'm going to have to make a tough decision, but the outcome will be well worth the agonizing over it. what i'll do and continue to do is pray and seek God about it. i'll be waiting for His answer.
be patient. be encouraged. be blessed.
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