i have lots of female friends. naturally, i would 'cuz i'm a girl. and i'm probably most comfortable hanging around my own kind of species - girls. but there's something to be said about being friends with the opposite sex. i mean no strings attached, just plain fun and an occasional insight into the psyche of the male mind.
it's been quite some time since i've had guy pals to hang out with on a regular basis. recently, some guy friends i've sort of lost touch with have resurfaced and reconnected. since then we've been hanging out and collaborating on a pending major project together. i will admit that at first i thought one of them was only reconnecting to get closer in a romantic way. but as we hang and talk, i realize he's just being friendly and the path for real friendship with no strings attached is being established.
so what have i learned from hanging out with my "boy friends?" well, let's see. guys really don't like to be the one that's being chased. they want to pursue the gals. it's a primal/hunting/superiority/man thing.
on that same note guys really don't want skanky girls for their wives. those types of ladies are alright for fun and games, but at the end of the day, they want a real lady. however, the verdict is still out on whether they want a virgin or someone who knows a little somethin' somethin' in the buduoir.
the ego has to be stroked. even though me and guys are just hanging as friends, they most definitely like a compliment about their manliness every now and again. and please don't question their manhood. lord, please!
so what am i benefiting from this non-romantic situation? well, in a sense i'm learning to be more comfortable around the boyz. most guys (or at least the ones i'm chillin' with) mean what they say. it can be sometimes a little crude, but hey it's the truth. i'm also discovering that the same camaraderie i'm experiencing with "my guys" is what i want in a romantic relationship.
we encourage each other. laugh and make jokes. conversations turn serious from time to time about relationships past, our faith, our goals, finances... whatever. we learn from each other. i'm probably learning more from them than they are from me. these cats are a little younger than i am so i'm learning some of the lingo and urban talk. it's pretty funny cause there are times i'm reminded of my 30yr reign on earth. but it's "str8" as they like to say.
by hanging out with them, i'm discovering things about me. i'm learning that there really can be guy/girl friendships and nothing more is expected. on occasion others tell me they think that my friendship should turn romantic. that's because i don't date that often and the mention of a name other than female send them into a tizzy. i do desire that "at last" love, but i don't think that's the purpose of this friendship. and so i'm having to clarify that it's nice to hang out with the boys and not expect anything other than a good time and baggage-free fun.
there are times when i get a little jealous, but that's because i don't want anything to take away from the fun we're having. i've gotten used to being in their fold so anything or anyone intruding on that time (except for the one of the guy's fiancee) makes me a little selfish. i'm sure the same could be said of them.
so i'll take what this new road to platonic-ville is offering me. we're on the verge of having a great friendship again and i'm on the verge of knowing what it really is that i want whenever i'm granted the opportunity to be in a romantic relationship. thanks, guys, for reconnecting. this experience and your friendship is priceless.
be blessed.
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