drenie, party of one

this past week i took a major step in singledom. i went... to dinner... after six in the evening... in a RESTAURANT... ALONE! now i know to some people that's not really a big deal. but to some single people - especially girls - it is. why? because despite all today's societal promotion of "looking out for number one," there's still a negative connotation attached to us singles for being single. especially being single and dining out. at least down where i live.

now there are some "acceptable" forms of dining out alone for singles. you may go to lunch alone. you may go to a little coffee shop or cafe. yeah, that's ok. but eating the "finale" meal for the day? in a nice restaurant? ALONE? sure, but be prepared for the "awe, poor thing" treatment you'll receive from the wait staff. i got that vibe from my waitress who came to check on me more than the usual amount of times.

so have i ever dined out or even got out alone before? sure. but it was as i mentioned in a sandwich shop. i've gone to the museum, the movies, shopping, concerts and all that jazz. but i never dared to go out to dinner sans company. why? i didn't want people to think i was some sad little case who couldn't get at least ONE friend to accompany me. i didn't want people to think i was a loser.

usually i could give a flying flip about what other people think, but this hurdle was one i was afraid to jump. so what was the catalyst for change? well, for starters i was hungry and impatient. i didn't feel like calling all over the city to find someone who wasn't "in between blessings" and was in the mood to eat. secondly, there was a meeting across town and i needed to kill some time. and mostly, i realized that i really don't give a flying flip what people think as far as my dining status was concerned.

so as a movement to liberate myself, i ventured out. i was looking fairly cute that day anyway. why not share this chocolaty goodness with the dining public? so i drove to the side of town the meeting was, picked a semi nice restaurant, parked, fixed the makeup and walked in. had a lovely conversation with the host. when he asked how many people was in my party. i proudly said, "just one, please." as i sat down, all those fears about what i thought people might say or think melted away.

while i ate my meal, i started thinking to myself "what were you so afraid of?" some crazy perceived notion of what perfect strangers would think? people who don't have any kind of personal stake in my life? please! it's really in my attitude and my own level self-confidence. by the time i finished my meal, i mentally scolded myself for being so silly. and then silently congratulated myself for literally getting over it.

next time, i'm going to dress up, pick a really nice place to dine and have a great time. and the next time i get those "what might they be saying?" thoughts in my head, i'll just imagine them saying "there goes a sexy, confident gal who's got it together."

be confident. be blessed.