in case you weren't aware, i'm a designer. a graphic designer, to be more specific. i have the special gift of taking people's ideas, words and pictures and creating a lovely array of layouts. mostly prints. need a poster? no problem. craving a brochure or billboard? i gotcha. fantasizing about a logo that will express your innermost message? bring it on. i have the fun, yet challenging task of "reading" people's thoughts and making their digital dreams a reality. and i'm pretty good at it, too, if i may say so myself. as clients verbalize their "visions," ideas literally dance in my head and i'm sketching while they talk. it's crazy!
so what? what's the big deal? there are thousands of designers out there. so what makes me so special? well, i have the unique ability to turn it around in a fairly quick fashion and not sacrificing quality. my freelance clients and friends love the fact that i can spew out whatever project they've thrown at me with in a matter of days–hours in most cases. and if it's something i can print in-house, rest assure they can have it virtually before the sun goes down.
it's a great gift and i thank God for the talent. but with that gift of speedy return comes some unexpected "side-effects." the clients really expect me to do this all the time with EVERY project. and it's not just clients, it's friends, too. and worst, they sometimes don't think they need to pay. now don't get me wrong, i'd do what i do for free (and sometimes i do) if i could afford to. but recently, it's becoming to be a bit much.
a friend asked me to design something really "quick and simple." she wanted to give the design to someone as a gift. another friend needed a t-shirt designed for his class. a client wanted me to design AND print out a large number of specially designed/personalized invitations with matching rsvp and envelopes. and i really could do it - all of it - in a matter of hours and not even bat an eye.
i have "spoiled" these folks. when i didn't have much going on in my life, i could design at the drop of a dime. it's my own fault with not setting the boundaries before. but the "disease to please" engulfed my life when i first started freelancing and i wanted to do what i could to keep 'em coming. my talents have been like digital cable's on-demand® service.
so what's changed? i didn't have the growing circle of friends i have now. i didn't have the responsibilities and complicated schedule i'm living now. and i didn't have the special friendship i need to pay attention to as i do now. i am now having to turn away "simple" and "quick" jobs and my clients and friends don't understand that i literally can't do this anymore.yes, the designs still dance around in my head, screaming to become real. but i simply don't want to take any more of my "me" time to do it. i'm no longer in the mood to bend over backwards, sacrifice time, talent, patience and sleep to create those last-minute designs.
i'm slowly making the shift from life at the speed of light to the nice stroll i need to take. i couldn't understand why some of my designer friends completely stopped taking on freelance work. and truthfully, i don't think that i'll completely give it up, but i do know that i will not be able to continue at the pace i'm going now. it's so embedded in who i am, that totally shutting it down would be like cutting off my arm. so if i gradually phase out what i'm doing, i'll find there'll be more time to enjoy.
so where does this leave my "o.d." clients and friends? i simply tell them "no." i don't have the time to devote to it, even if it's a quick job. and ESPECIALLY if i'm not getting paid to do it. no way. i've started antibiotics to kill the "please disease." and the road to recovery is looking better all the time.
what will i do with my freetime? design of course LOL but only things that i want to. play with my new friends. work on developing the special friendship into something meaningful. sleep. pray and read my Bible more often. work on my house. work in my yard. or nothing at all. it's time to let some of these things go and stop living so "on-demand" for a while.
be willing to let things go. be blessed.
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