birthday

on november five and fifteen (that's twenty), i'll be thirty-one! THIRTY-ONE! three decades, plus one year. i swear to you sometimes i don't look a day over twenty-five. so i've been told by my students. of course finals are coming up and they may be buttering me up for extra points. i accept the compliment just the same.

for the past week, i've been trying to figure out what it is i want to do to celebrate the day the earth received me as one of its most prized inhabitants. i'm really not this vain, i'm just feeling extra punchy tonight. anyway, i've been wracking my brain on what to do. should i throw a last-minute party so close to thanksgiving? should i just ask a bunch of friends to join me at a cheesy restaurant? should i ask for a nice quiet dinner for two with my almost special friend? all of these ideas sound good, but they all involve my having to plan around everyone else's schedule, cook or have the event catered and be "on" my best behavior for at least two and half hours. and even though the day is a celebration of me, it will quickly turn into a people-pleaser deal.

now, i love all my friends and family and i'm sure they'll expect me to have a gathering of sorts. i've been thinking about what all i've been through this past year. what i've accomplished. what i've learned to embrace. what i've learning to finally let go. i am finally finding myself in a place where i am completely comfortable with who i am as a woman, an african-american, a christian, a professional and a single gal.

i can now say what others have been telling me all along - "i am proud of you." i am proud of me and absolutely amazed at how God has blessed me, healed me, delivered me and set me free from certain things. so, what does this have to do with my birthday? well,i've decided to do something a little unconventional. i'm going to celebrate my birthday with someone who finally admits how much she loves me. i'm going to celebrate my birthday with myself.

this weekend, i'm going to go to my favorite clothing store and buy myself a bad @!# outfit. i'm making an appointment for a lovely massage-maybe that lava rock treatment. i'm going to make reservations at this really nice italian restaurant downtown and take myself to dinner. i'm going to do up the hair and make-up. i'm going to celebrate me.

now because i know people will be calling/texting me with birthday messages, i'll take the cell. i may answer, i may not. but i think i'd really like to do this for myself. as a sign of independence and of self-acceptance and love. people won't get it and some will actually be offended that i've gone this route. but i don't care. it's my day and i'm entitled to do with it as i see fit. this ONE time, i'm going to do things my way and celebrate my inner ultra-diva. i'm getting excited just thinking about it! happy birthday to me!

be bold. be comfortable in your own skin. be blessed.