let me sum up

i have not realized how long it's been since the last post. so here's a brief summary of what's happened since last i chimed in:

God speaks
i have been on a fast from t.v. the entire month of january. and let me tell you HOW difficult it was to do that especially since the new season of medium and studio 60 was getting to be so good. but in lieu of watching the boob tube, i was praying, reading/study the Bible or just meditating on God and all His goodness. also seeking what it is i want and finding out what God wanted from me. and after the fast was over, i found myself not really wanting to watch that much tv. during that 30-day refrain, it didn't take long for quite a few challenges in my faith walk and discipline to show me (and others) what i claim i'm made of. it's been an interesting month. and i believe i'm stronger in my faith and some of the principles i hold to than ever. i've learned to let some stuff go and embrace a different viewpoint on things.

"v" for valentine
rather than wallow in self-pity because i am yet again with out a man love for the holiday. i took the day off from work and spent it with my very special man. my three year old nephew. we hung out and had a great time. while out delivering the wee one's valentine to his mommy, i ran into him. you know him. the one who got in his own way in pursuing a relationship with me. at first i really, really, REALLY had no desire to see him. but as we conversed, i started to feel a little confused–wondering if i gave up too soon. at that point, the window of opportunity was not completely shut. he still had a chance to pry it back open. but that feeling quickly dissipated as i watched him get in his own way again. but by the time our conversation was over, the window was shut, locked with no hope of ever being opened again. i realized that i made the right choice to walk away. i'm still a little miffed about the whole thing, but i don't let it get me down. it was a training/learning experience for me. someone better is coming along soon. i can feel it. and besides i'm with the most handsome three year old God ever let draw breath on this planet. and he loves me no matter what. especially if i bribe him with marshmallows.

thirty-four
that's how old my friend was when she peacefully slipped from this world into eternal rest this past tuesday. this news caught me by surprise as i didn't even realize she was so ill. and not too long ago i was saying that i needed to track her down and play catch up. i missed hanging out with this larger than life personality. she was so full of zest and joy, she didn't let things get her down. even when she was going through her own share of trials. this is one of those times where one really starts to wonder why are we really here. and if we are really doing and accomplishing what we were meant to during this brief time on earth. i am so hurt by her passing, but i won't let it end there. i am going to push past my fears and do what it is i'm purposed to do. nothing ventured, nothing gained. life's too short to be living on "what if this happens? what if it doesn't?" my friend was not one to hold back from trying new things. and i can't let her down now. when i see her again in Heaven, i want her to say, "go 'head with the go 'head, girl!" i love you and miss you, girl.

i love you
as i'm typing my baby sister just called to tell me she loves me. there you go. what more can a girl ask for?

be blessed.